Visiting Techniques, Commonly Ask Questions, Intercare Corporate Group

Heart Of Excellence

How often should I visit: ~ There is no right answer to this question. Only you can decide on the right amount of time you should spend visiting. One must consider the other demands in your life (job, other family), as well as your own health. If you are not taking time to maintain good physical and emotional health for yourself, you will not be able to bring your best to the visit. Sometimes fewer, but better quality visits are the best compromise.

Remember: ~

Never say you are going to visit if you really are not planning to.
If you promised to visit at a specific time, but now can't visit at that time,
notify the resident that you won't be there. Don't leave the person waiting.

If you are having trouble determining how often you should visit, speak to the unit staff, the social worker or the recreation therapist. Their input may help.

Should I tell my family member if something bad has happened to someone in the family (e.g. death or divorce)?: ~ There can never be an absolutely right answer to this because there are always unique considerations in every situation. But, as a general rule, all family members should be advised about family issues, whether good or bad. Being part of a family involves both the good things and the bad things in life: just because a person is physically removed from the family, doesn't mean that he or she should be excluded.

As we can never be certain about the depth of understanding of an individual who has experienced severe memory changes, even they should be told about family issues. However, little is gained by repeating information they find distressing. With this population, it is often advisable to tell them once and then, unless they ask, don't raise the issue again.

Planning when and how you will deliver bad news is important because, like you, residents may feel overwhelmed. It is important they receive the necessary support at the time the news is delivered and afterwards. Questions that you need to consider are:

Will you have the time and do you feel emotionally strong enough yourself to both give the news and to support the resident afterwards as he or she copes with it?

If not: ~

Can you give the resident the news when a favorite staff person,
their chaplain or the social worker is available to be with you?
These individuals will be able to provide support to your loved one.
Can staff, the chaplain or the social worker provide your family member
with support in the days after you have given the bad news?

Whenever and however bad news is relayed to a resident, it is also important to give the details to staff. Then, if the resident is distraught in the coming hours or days, the staff will be able to provide the appropriate care and support.

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